I’m so excited to feature my childhood friend, Dr. Megan Gray, in the Strong Girl Spotlight! Megan and I have been friends since Kindergarten and I am so grateful for our lifelong friendship! I know you’ll find her spotlight inspiring! She is a licensed clinical psychologist and offers great advice for those who may feel like they need extra help and support navigating life during this tough time we are all living through. Happy Reading & Connecting! – Ailis xx

Tell us about yourself!

I’m a Southern California native with a love for learning, adventure, challenges, and chocolate. I have also known Ailis, TSM founder, for the majority of my life. She has been an inspiration from day one and is also one of the most loyal, hard-working, and compassionate people I have ever met. I am honored to know her and participate in her incredible platform that promotes mental and physical strength in women. 

What does “Strong” mean to you and what makes you a Strong Girl?

To me, being strong means being able to face challenges and persevere through adversity. Strength comes from struggle, specifically when we can embrace the struggle knowing that it’s not only temporary but also has the potential to improve us in some way. Certainly becoming a psychologist came with its struggles, but the reward of what I get to do for a living is a constant reminder that the things in life that are the most meaningful are worth struggling for.

You are a licensed clinical psychologist. When did you know you wanted to become one and help others?

I have always been interested in people’s stories, struggles, and strengths, but my interest specifically in the field of psychology came to fruition in college. I classically gained the Freshman 15 and started to learn more about the intricate connection between my body and mind as I was taking classes and working on myself. This combination of coursework and self-work proved to be incredibly powerful in determining my future as a psychologist.

What do you wake up looking forward to and excited about every day?

Coffee! Otherwise I look forward to what each day will teach me, whether the learning comes from a client, coworker, article, or general observation. Not only is psychology an ever-evolving field of science, there is also continual personal growth within my clients and myself. All of these moving targets keep me engaged and excited every day. Beyond that, I sincerely look forward to each and every sunset.

Do you have any daily rituals? What’s a day in your life like?

I love food, so the most consistent ritual I have is eating around the same times every day. This gives me a sense of control, predictability, and also excitement when I have something really tasty that I’m looking forward to. My mornings start with meditation and some kind of movement ranging from OrangeTheory to stretching. I also enjoy the morning and evening news segments, which help me feel up-to-date on current events but also not bombarded by constant media notifications during other times of the day. Having these daily consistencies helps me manage the less predictable aspects of my work, which can include conducting individual therapy, group therapy, crisis management, shared medical appointments, treatment coordination, and team meetings.

What’s one healthy, positive habit you have right now that you are proud of?

Meditation. I’ve admittedly fluctuated in my dedication to this practice but as soon as I re-engage with it I am immediately reminded of the power of meditation on my mood, focus, and overall well-being.

What keeps you motivated when the going gets tough?

“This too shall pass.” Nothing in life is permanent, and once I can acknowledge that whatever challenge I’m facing won’t last forever, I can then remind myself of all of the other challenges I have overcome as a reminder of how strong I am to help me face the current one. I also have an incredible social support system that I know I can rely on in any circumstance.

What is your mantra or philosophy that you live by?

“Everything in moderation.” My dad said this to me all the time growing up and it seems to really fit me and my lifestyle. It’s simple and widely applicable.

A lot of people, including college women, are feeling very anxious with everything going on right now with the coronavirus pandemic and all of the drastic changes that have come with it in this ever-changing “new normal.” What do you recommend to help navigate the uncertainty of it all and any anxiety or uncomfortable feelings people may be experiencing right now?

Take things one day at a time. If we think too far into the future we can make ourselves out to be really terrible psychics with a lot of anxiety. Uncertainty makes our minds do interesting things that are rarely helpful for our overall well-being, so try to allow for some certainty in your daily life. Creating certainty can be something as simple as having a consistent morning routine or a weekly virtual game night with your girlfriends. We may not be able to control when we can safely return to life pre-Covid, but we can control our immediate circumstances and how we operate in the meantime. Of note, all the things TSM stands for can be incredibly helpful in managing stress: healthy eating, exercise, sleep, and social support/community. Humans are designed to be active and social, and although there have been significant limitations placed on these innate needs (for our own immediate health and safety), there have also been incredibly creative ways to accommodate them made in response to these limitations. Lastly, give yourself some compassion – even if you come out of this pandemic without making a loaf of sourdough, learning a new language, or investigating the disappearance of Carol Baskin’s husband, you will have survived a global pandemic.

When should someone seek professional help with what they are feeling? 

There is never a wrong time for therapy! Mental health professionals can help you during your best and worst moments as well as the ones in between. With that said, there can be red flags that are indicators for getting help. Most mental health disorders are defined by symptoms that negatively impact several areas of your life, like your relationships, school performance, and work performance. If you notice that your performance, motivation, or general enjoyment of activities that are important to you has changed, consider that a red flag. This change can be something as drastic as having panic attacks that interfere with your work, or something as small as not singing in the shower anymore due to depression. Often our loved ones can help us identify changes too, so if people have expressed concerns about you or noted a change in you, consider that also a red flag. Making the decision to get help is usually the hardest part – once you’re there it becomes easier to navigate.