Every Strong Girl, at some point, has experienced moments or periods of self-doubt. As you know self-doubt is paralyzing, negative, destructive, debilitating and critical. This is why many times we refer to it as our inner critic—that nagging and negative voice inside our head that tells us we aren’t good enough, that we aren’t capable or that we need more time to be qualified to do something.

Strong Girls of all ages and from all different walks of life have all dealt with self-doubt to some capacity. Even the confident women we admire or deem the most successful have grappled with their inner critic and perhaps some of them still do. And, I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve had some pretty tough conversations back and forth in my mind, as well.

As a Strong Girl, you know that to reach your highest potential and achieve your dreams you must build a Strong resilient mind that, first and foremost, believes you can do it. However, what happens when times get tough, a setback happens, motivation lessens and that voice starts talking to you? This is, of course, when self-doubt shows up in full force—that passionate moment when we are embarking out of our comfort zone and are experiencing change or something scary and you begin to question yourself, “Can I really do this?” Or, you hit that first setback or fifteenth setback and feel discouraged to continue on and persevere. Or, maybe, that inner critic is relentless in its negative talk that you may be too paralyzed to even take the first step or voice your opinion.

Regardless of when your inner critic stands up to you, you must be mentally prepared to handle it. Think of it like that relative that’s coming into town or friend that calls and that over time you’ve learned to deal with that person and treat differently. You have to almost get into character to talk or interact with them so that they don’t drain you. You keep your distance and you definitely don’t let them get in the way of your plans or let them control you. This is the exact way you must treat your inner critic.

We must realize that discomfort and change is a necessary part of growth and that, often, it’s during these times when our inner critic screams the loudest—when we’re embarking on our big dreams. Failing or facing setbacks will also most likely happen at some point throughout the course. It’s not a bad thing, but recognizing they may happen and learning to find solutions or fail forward and get back up is what will keep you going on the right track—not listening to the naysayer question you in your head.

When we stretch ourselves to that next level in our pursuit of our dreams, put ourselves out there or set out to try something new, of course, there’s a good possibility it’s going to be really uncomfortable. But it’s also when you’ll grow and progress if you follow through. Experiencing doubt and questioning yourself is common and natural. Strong Girl, you are a winner! You will not go down and lose to your inner critic!

Let’s discuss the side effects of letting that voice in your head get the best of you…

Side Effects of Self-Doubt

self doubt inner critic cartoon

  1. Mentally Exhausting, Overwhelming & Emotionally Draining

You really have no time for the nonsense that your inner critic is saying if you’re on a mission to achieve your dreams. You cannot be run or controlled by fear or negative thoughts. They will set you back and you will dig yourself into one big negative and unproductive hole. Think of a time when you made something out to be so big and scary in your head and then in actuality it wasn’t? What a waste of time and emotion you spent dwelling on it when you could have been using your positive, productive energy for something else!

Your inner critic is draining and toxic. Skip the juice cleanse and go straight for the mental cleanse. If you’re going to be tired at the end of the day, be tired from a hard day’s work moving forward and from taking action towards your goals—not from a mean mind game your inner voice decided to play on you!

  1. Paralyzing: Play & Stay in the “Safe Zone”

There is a reason why kid’s playpens are contained with walls—to keep them inside so that they won’t get hurt. Essentially, that’s what your inner critic is trying to do, too—“protect” you from the possible “negative” consequences you may experience by taking a big step or going for your dreams. If you stay in the “safe zone” and comfort of what you know and what is familiar you will not grow. You will put off your dreams and not move forward if you aren’t willing to venture out and experience some risk, all because your fears have caused you to play small.

  1. Physical Stress

Your mind allows many things to manifest themselves. If you’re constantly living in emotional stress, your body will most likely host a lot of stress hormones flowing through. You’re a Strong Girl and you have an amazing radiant glow. Not only will stress hormones start chipping away at it, but they will also cause you to age quicker. Not to mention, those stress hormones can lead to health problems down the road. If you’re dedicating time in the gym and working towards the body of your dreams, the physical byproducts of your emotional stress will be counter-productive to all of your hard work getting fit and healthy.

Dealing with self-doubt head on is not as overwhelming and complicated as it may seem. However, it will take some mental work! Don’t be discouraged—what if you programmed your life now to live free from the control and negative emotions of the self-doubt that your inner critic creates?

5 Steps to Deal with Self-Doubt

self doubt cartoon

Here’s how to deal with it once and for all with 5 easy mental switches to change the way you interact with self-doubt and your inner-critic. You will learn how to not let it get in the way, affect or control you on your road to success!

  1. Understand It: Why Do We Experience Self-Doubt?

Again, you must understand that your inner critic is your safety net—like the kid’s playpen. It wants to protect you from the unknown, the scary world of following your dreams or speaking your mind. It wants to protect you from the emotional risk of failure, humiliation, embarrassment, vulnerability, rejection, pain and disappointment, and actually, anything external you fear.

A lot of times our self-doubt is shaped by past experiences, the media, stereotypes, cultural tones, friends, family, societal status quo and self-fulfilling prophesies. We must understand where it comes from and why it manifests in our heads and that it’s not reality or truth.

  1. Feel It: Only For a Split Sec

You know that actually feeling, believing and wallowing in your doubt feels, well, pretty bad! You cannot continue going through life miserable like this.  Think of how even more miserable you’ll be if you let these thoughts plague you and keep you from going after your desires.  Self-doubts are self-fulfilling prophecies. And, if you’re a Strong Girl on a mission, the only self-fulfilling prophecy you have time for is the one of you confidently fulfilling and actualizing your dreams and aspirations.

  1. Recognize & Be Aware of It

You know that your critical voice will knock and yap eventually. Acknowledge and be cognizant that it is there. But, that’s it. Don’t give it anymore thought—literally! It doesn’t deserve it. Even though you may not give it attention, it will be back again and maybe in a different form or tone of voice and possibly about something completely different. One thing is for sure, that voice is persistent and will find new times and ways to pop up uninvited.  Basically, it’s crazy!  Laugh it off every time it tries to make it’s way back.

  1. Protect & Safeguard Your Mind

We already live in a world of excessive negativity and criticism, the last place you want it is living inside! You must guard and protect your mind. Just like the inner critic wants to “protect” you from risk, you must protect your mind from your inner critic and keep it out!

Don’t open the door, welcome the critic in or let it infiltrate, live in and take up precious space. You must not listen to it or believe it. Your mind is your temple—your safe haven, not a place for negative thoughts to dwell. Strong Girl, you control your mind, not the negative thoughts that want in or pass through. Consider them fleeting thoughts!

Your critical inner voice is like spam mail. You know you may get it at any moment in time, but don’t open it. Unsubscribe from it. Opening it and reading it is a waste of your time and not conducive to reaching your goals. Into the trash bin it goes!

  1. Positive Environment, Mindset and Affirmations

Writing is one way of affirming your thoughts. First, you must write down your negative thoughts and cross them out. Re-write them into a positive statement about yourself and keep it in front of you for you to see throughout the day. Next, to make them even more effective, verbalize and say them aloud everyday.

Lauren's Lyst Ailis Garcia The Strong Movement Self-Doubt Quote

Love this quote from fellow host, Lauren Gores’ Instagram.

“Our greatest successes in life come only after we let go of self-doubt and cheer ourselves on.”

In the Lifestyle Guide of The Strong Movement™: The Complete Guide to Unleashing Your Strong, I show you exactly how to build a Strong Mind with positive, empowering affirmations. You will learn how to get rid of limiting beliefs about yourself and change your mindset to achieve your dreams. Learn Here!